Dear Pip,

Belittle me all you want. I am done keeping my mouth shut and it's time people knew how I am being treated. It's flat out wrong. Go around and tell what you want, but I'm done not saying anything in response.

• I cannot believe that you won't be an adult about the situation. You're supposed to be the Head of the Household, and part of that responsibility includes making sure the family stays together. What's wrong with you?? How can you have ONE daughter and go almost five months without speaking to her, let alone your GRANDCHILDREN? Five months to a baby is a long time. Skyler doesn't have a clue who you are, and I'm sure Greenleigh probably won't, either, when she does see you again. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?? Stand up and be a man, and tell your wife when she's wrong. If Tyler ever let me go five months without speaking to Greenleigh or Skyler, somebody please, slap both of us.
• Don't tell me I'm acting like a twelve year old. That excuse is getting old. Everytime I disagree with you, I'm "acting like a twelve year old". I grew up! I'm twenty-two years old. Regardless if you like them or not, these are my feelings. I laid in bed and cried on my birthday because I never heard from my daddy. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!?!?! If I ever refuse to call Greenleigh on her birthday, somebody please, slap me. If Tyler ever doesn't call Greenleigh on her birthday because he's afraid of what I'll "do" or "say", somebody please, slap both of us.
• This is Skyler's first Christmas. He is almost eight months old. You have missed out on over half of his life already. Are you seriously not going to be a part of his first Christmas? Or the first Christmas that Greenleigh can actually talk and open presents and get excited? Are you serious? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU????????????? 

Laying It ALL On The Table

There seems to be alot of rumor and speculation going around out there. Ok, not really. There's a lady (who will remain nameless) who solicited her business to me every single day via text message about making tutu's for my Christmas recital. That's fine every once in a while, but EVERY DAY even when I'm on vacation, starts to get annoying. It was because of this that I started thinking maybe I didn't want her to make the tutu's. When she (again) text messaged me yesterday, I had to do something about it-- it was getting ridiculous and was past annoying. Anyway, I told her that I still did not have a definite answer for her about how many tutus and how much and whatnot, and she went completely wacko. I still have the messages she sent me on my phone attacking every aspect of my life (which I still don't know how it relates to a business ordeal, but whatever).

Anyway, she said something that really flew all over me. She said "I'm sorry you became a mom and a wife before you were ready and don't get to go out and have fun like I do!" (I'm not even going to say that she is  a thirty year old babysitter who STILL goes out to bars and gets drunk like she's in college, and that EVERY time she invited me out with her, I had to make up an excuse to say no.) I have NEVER, let me stress, EVER, been a party girl. I've been to a few, but I don't like to go out. I'd rather  spend my time at home with my friends chilling on the couch with a beer, than go out to a bar with strangers and get trashed. It's just never appealed to me.

Here's the deal. A few people may think the same thing that she does. I know it seems odd, that I'm so young with my life pretty much set in stone. I had to be one of those girls that just couldn't keep her legs closed and got stuck, right?

Wrong.

In April of 2008, Tyler decided he wanted to marry me. I had no idea at this point of course. We had only been together for about six months, and I was 19, so marriage was the last thing on my mind. In May of 2008, Tyler and I hit a big bump in our journey together. I won't go into details about it, but in the end it brought us much closer, and that was when I realized I wanted to settle down with him. I don't mean settle down like go get an apartment together and live together for a few years while we work and go out and party.  We were past that- he was twenty-four, graduating college and looking to start a real life. And I knew that I wanted to be with him when I was fifty-six and we had grandchildren running all over the house. Marriage became common in our late night pillow talks, and I knew he was getting close to popping the question. Then the topic of kids creeped into the conversations. His dad was old when Tyler was born, and Tyler had always made it clear to me that he wanted to be a young dad so he could play catch with his son in the yard. If Tyler wanted to be a young dad, then that meant I had to be a young mom. It was a situation I didn't even have to question. Of course I would have his babies! Tyler was without question the Love of My Life, and we were going to have babies one day, anyway.

In the meantime, I had a doctor's appointment one day in the middle of all of this. Nothing special, just a regular female check-up. Only it wasn't. I had a complication with my cervix and my uterus that needed to be fixed. It had something to do with the position... to be honest with you, I don't really know everything. I just remember hearing him say "You will probably have a hard time getting pregnant." My heart broke.

I came home squalling and did all kinds of research on what was wrong with me. The numbers were terrifying- everywhere I looked, 5% chance with this possibility, 8% with this one... it was awful. I was so afraid that if I couldn't have kids, Tyler wouldn't want to marry me. He came home and I cried in his lap for a long time. I went back to the doctor a few times while they tried to do whatever it is that they do. It's all a blur of awkwardness and uncomfortable-ness and just a bad memory all around.

Then one day I came home and Ty was just sitting on the bed. You have to know my hubs- he doesn't just sit. I knew something was wrong. As I was expecting him to break up with me, he asked me if we could talk. He told me then that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and he asked me if I wanted to go pick out my ring. (You have to know Tyler- it's a good thing he didn't do this part on his own. I love him, but.) I was through the moon- I had no idea he was so sure so soon, especially with all my baby machine problems. We went that night to Kay and I got the ring I've worn for two and a half years now, and we swore to each other that night that we would do everything possible to have Baby Bryans running around before too long.

A month and a half later, there were two pink lines on a pregnancy test. Nine months after that, Greenleigh was born. Five months after that, there were two MORE pink lines on a pregnancy test. Nine months after that, Skyler was born. And these kids are our WORLD.

I didn't get "knocked up" or "have kids before I was ready".
GOD IS GOOD.

Love,
L

Wow

There will never be an April 16th or a May 1st that pass by from here until I die that I will not call my children and wish them a happy birthday. No matter how mad we may be, no matter what the past has been like, everybody deserves to hear "Happy Birthday, we love you" from their parents on their birthday. No matter how old you get.

I'm getting ready to go to Florida.

This time of the year...

... is always so hectic. November holds my birthday, our anniversary, my brother's birthday, Tyler's birthday, and Thanksgiving. It feels like there's something going on all the time!

Today's been a long day. Costume deposits were due today, so everybody came by paying me at the last minute. I'm trying to catch up on laundry and get our clothes semi-situated for the trip next week. My niece Monica is also staying with me for a few nights so the house has been full of activity. She's going through some things and I'm just trying to be there for her.

This blog is short and pointless, but I have to go now. I'll post more later!

Love,
L

It All Pays Off In The End.

Jenn and I finally finished Lexi's scrapbook, just in time for her birthday party! I don't have pictures of the actual pages, but I have the pictures from when she opened it, and I just wanted to share them really quick before we go trick-or-treating.

The look on Lexi's face while she was looking through the scrapbook made every single minute of our hard work worth it. It turned out awesome :) I made one for my niece also, I'll actually post pictures of it soon. We're heading up to Reinhardt to see my brother so I gotta run! Elmo and a Pooh Bear Bumblebee are waiting on me to take them to show off their costumes :) I'll blog more later.

Love,
L

Drop Everything Now...

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk and take away the pain

Cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile.

~Taylor Swift

Her new album just came out, and I have a Swifty obsession, so get used to the lyrics for a few weeks. Give me a break, I'm not a teenage girl caught up in the craze. I've been a fan since before her first album came out. I have a lot of respect for her because she actually writes her own music- how many country artists out there can say that today? Not many. I always relate to every one of her songs in some way. Love me some Taylor.
It's 7:07 a.m. and I'm up with my Sky Man, lost in about a million different thoughts. I have to get to work on Tyler's anniversary gift- I'll tell what it is once he has it. Jenn is supposed to come over this morning and help me get started, and I am very excited! I hope it's as amazing as I anticipate.
Our vow renewal is much trickier than I had originally planned. I can't decide on a color scheme :/ The same problem I had with our wedding. A huge part of me is about to lift the color ban and just do bright and bold colors of all sorts. I do know that I don't want black or white, because our wedding was formal enough. Everything about our "I Do Take Two" is going to be casual and comfortable. I am so excited. One day soon I will blog all the pictures and details that I have made up my mind about so far.
Now Skyler is ready for a bottle, so I will blog more later!

Love,
L

Dear Mom,

What is it about you that makes you so cold? Did your mom treat you this way, too? Either way, it ends here. I will not be this kind of mother. I don't know what to do to be a "good mom"... all I know is what not to do. I will not attempt to mold Greenleigh into something I wish I could have been, nor will I disown and outcast her when her opinions are different than my own. I will not intimidate and shelter her so much that she feels like she has to lie to me. I will treat her with respect. I will talk to her like a real person with real feelings, and I will strive to find the perfect balance between "mom" and "friend" that I am longing for with her. I will do all of these things, and you have helped me by showing me exactly what not to do. So for that, I thank you.
 Love,
L

I walk with my head down,
Trying to block you out, cause' I never impress you.
I just want to feel okay again.

I bet you got pushed around,
Somebody made you cold.
But the cycle ends right now.
Because you can't lead me down that road.

~Taylor Swift

Happy Things :)

I have AWESOME news! I have had to add TWO new classes to my schedule at work! This is a fabulous thing- it means I'm expanding! One of the new kids that signed up is from Ellijay, and she said she just "heard of me". I am sooooo excited!!! :) :) :)


I am also super excited about our upcoming vacation! My birthday is Friday, November 5th and our anniversary is Monday, November 8th. So on Thursday (the 4th) we are taking off for Florida!! :) My good friend Jenn and I have the same birthday, and her man (James) lives in Hudson, Florida. So on Friday night, James is throwing us a birthday bash at his house. Then on Saturday Tyler and I leave for Tampa Bay where we're staying in a resort and visiting Busch Gardens and going to Honeymoon Island. I can't wait! :) We never got to take a honeymoon, so this is our mini-moon :) We love exploring any new places together, and we can't wait to get to Busch Gardens! :) Yay!


Well... that's the plan anyway.




Love,
L

No More Babies!!

For at least another decade :)

I love my kids, but I don't want any more. Ever. But the doctors won't tie my tubes because I'm still "young" and might change my mind. So I had to settle for an IUD. I went ahead with the 10-year non-hormonal one, Paragard. There were a few reasons, but the final deciding factor was that Paragard has had less complications than Mirena.

This is all supposed to take place in an office visit, and it's only supposed to take a few minutes, right? Wrong. You forget that it's ME that we're talking about here. I knew within seconds into the procedure that something wasn't right. And was that an understatement! My uterus has retroverted backwards at a 90 degree angle toward my spine... once again. They had to use an ultrasound to navigate the IUD. But once they brought the ultrasound machine, it was a breeze! I would recommend it to anybody with a uterus that isn't difficult. :) It doesn't even compare to the misery and the uncomfortable-ness (is that a word?) of being pregnant.

TEN YEARS! NO BABIES! SHIBBEEEE!!!!

Love,
L

Three Years Ago Today...

My life changed forever :)

I got invited to go to a movie with a group of people from work. We were all going to a late show after we got off, and the theater was practically in the same parking lot as Outback. I had no idea who all was going, but it seemed like more fun that sitting at home alone. I got cut early, so I went home to shower and change and came back to work to wait on everyone else. I'll never forget it- I was wearing a white camisole with a red zip-up hoodie and Lucky jeans. As everyone got cut, a guy we called "Cheddar" went to the store and bought beer. I hated beer. Then I noticed Tyler was hanging around, too. We had been kind of flirty for the past few days before that, so I wondered what was up. It became pretty obvious after a while that Tyler and I had been set up by everyone we worked with. I remember a big group of us sat in the parking lot for a while before the movie started, and I remember Tyler giving me a Bud Select, and me pretending to like it. (Looking back, that was so cute. Aw.) We went into the theater, and Tyler and Nick started playing air hockey. Tyler won, so Nick gave the little air-hockey-thingy to me. If you know me at all, you don't even have to ask who won. He beat me like 10 to 1, and when it was over he went to give me a high five... but he didn't let go of my hand. I smile now thinking about it :) He thought he was being soooo sly! Hahaha. We walked into the theater and sat together. The movie we went to see was "30 Days of Night", and I don't do scary movies. I buried my head into his arm for a majority of the show. He walked me to my car when it was over, but neither of us made a move on the other. We just kind of side-hugged and left. It was sweet in its own way, and I was absolutely smitten from that moment on. The song "Bubbly" was all over the place then, even on Outback Radio at work. It was so appropriate because every time I would even talk about Tyler after that, I'd start grinning and my nose would crinkle. (I still do it to this day!) Anyways, after this night at the movies, we were pretty much inseparable. I had my own apartment in Canton, and he lived in a house with some roommates in Acworth, but we were always either at my place or his when we weren't at work or school. We took our time falling in love, and we enjoyed every minute of it. I loved the butterflies I would get in my tummy that got more intense the closer I got to Exit 4 on 575 South, because that meant I was only seven minutes from his house, tops. He quickly became my best friend, and I found myself letting him in before I even realized it was happening. I wasn't necessarily falling in love with him at first; it was more like I was letting myself trust him. And I am so glad that I took the time to trust him before I let myself fall in love with him, because that trust we have in one another is the absolute foundation of our marriage. I am not a jealous wife, and I don't cling to Tyler in ways that most women I know cling to their husbands. We are so opposite most people don't see how it works. We both like to do our own thing- he loves his job at the bank, I think it would be boring. I live and breathe dance, and his coordination is... less than perfect. But if you know us, you know that this is exactly why we DO work so well. We each have something that the other doesn't, and we just sort of fill in each other. I love my Hubs <3

I could go on and on, but I don't want to ramble any more than I already probably have. I'll leave you with the song that can always put a smile on my face :)
Until next time, friends.
-L


I've been awake for a while now. You've got me feeling like a child now. 'Cause every time I see your bubbly face, I get the tinglies in a silly place. It starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose. Wherever it goes, I always know that you make me smile; please stay for a while now. Just take your time, wherever you go. The rain is falling on my window pane, but we are hiding in a safer place. Under covers stayin' dry and warm, you give me feelings that I adore. They start in my toes, make me crinkle my nose. Wherever it goes, I always know that you make me smile; please stay for a while now. Just take your time, wherever you go. But what am I gonna say when you make me feel this way? I just....mmmmm.... and it starts in my toes, makes me crinkle my nose. Wherever it goes, I always know that you make me smile; please stay for a while now. Just take your time, wherever you go. I've been asleep for a while now. You tuck me in just like a child now. 'Cause every time you hold me in your arms, I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth. It starts in my soul, and I lose all control. When you kiss my nose, the feeling shows. You make me smile, baby, just take your time holding me tight.Wherever you go, always know that you make me smile, even just for a while...

Success

Usually Comes To Those Who Are Too Busy To Be Looking For It.
~ Henry David Thoreau

I have so many things planned for the upcoming year, and there is so much ahead of me I don't know how it's all going to work. Keep your fingers crossed I can figure it out somehow!


- Recitals. Our Christmas recital is coming up in December so I'm crazy busy trying to get that together. Also, our annual recital is in May, so as soon as I get done with Christmas I have to jump immediately into choreography for the annual recital and start teaching it in January. The annual recital date is tentatively May 21st.


- Fundraising. One of my dance students has been battling cancer for a few years now, and I would like to set up some sort of Dance-A-Thon to raise money for Kids Cancer Awareness. I'll have to Google it and see what I can come up with.


- Education. What to do, what to do? I've been battling with this for three years now. It's not that I don't want to go to college... but I honestly have no desire to sit in a classroom and listen to a professor drone on and on in a monotonous voice about some crap I don't care about. Put me in a room where I can learn about choreography, stage lighting, technique... then I'm interested. Thus, I decided to look into majoring in Dance at KSU... and I got in! And if I go back to school, I'm more than likely going to join the KSU Dance Team. I've already emailed the coach and she knows my home studio, so I hopefully have a foot in the door. Now that I've been accepted, I just have to decide if I want to go. Several factors come into play with this because I don't want it to interfere with my job or my kids, so I guess it's a matter of how much of my core requirements are available online.


- Dance Masters Teacher Training. It's for a week next summer in New York, and even if I have to sell my kidney on the black market, I'll be there. My mentor pretty much told me that this is what I'm looking for if I want to "major" in dance. I can take my exams and be certified in four days... at KSU, this will take me four years. The only bonus to this is that if I decide to go to KSU, my DM classes count toward college credit.


- Our "I Do, Take Two". Granted, this could probably wait, but it's really important to Tyler and to me. We  got cheated out of our dream wedding. Period, the End. My family is so unstable that we couldn't count on them for anything, therefore we had to settle for something a little less than what we wanted. Not that we didn't love our wedding, but it was very formal and wasn't at all what we had envisioned. Now we have the chance to do it again, the way we have always dreamed about. Luckily, I have a husband who loves me enough to go through "wedding planning" a second time.

My Favorite Hobbies

On top of my passion for dance, I have two more on-the-side passions that I do from home. I paint and I scrapbook. Painting comes sporadically and it has to strike me when I'm in a certain mood, but when it does I go into a zone and don't come out of it until the canvas is done. I started taking painting lessons when I was eleven, but back then we used oils. Oils are okay, but I prefer acrylic. It's easier to work with and dries faster. 

I also love to scrapbook. I fell in love with it during my senior year of high school, and over the years, I've gotten pretty good at it. My friend from home graduated last year, and her mom put me in charge of her senior scrapbook as well as the one of Sarah's whole life... it took up a lot of time, but turned out to be so worth it. Jenn wanted to start one for Lexi's birthday (October 29th), and my niece Monica is turning nine on the 26th, so I'm putting one together for her birthday, too. We've had a blast doing them this week! We're about halfway there with each girl's, but luckily Lexi is only seven and Monica is eight, so we don't have too many years to catch up on.

I'll be posting pictures of some of my latest creations soon! I can't wait to share them :)

Love,

L

We Went Out Last Night...

I have to introduce everyone to Tabitha. She's my best friend and has been for as long as I can remember. Last month she got married, and we haven't gotten the chance to really spend any time together since she got back from her honeymoon. We both made a point to clear our calendars for Saturday afternoon. We're both huge Bulldog fans and we both love college football- just a couple of the many things we have in common. We were at the bar in Applebee's by kickoff of the UGA/Tennessee game. The Dawgs SPANKED the Vols...and thus began my weekend :)


Tab and me at Applebee's

When I got back to Jasper, all of us all went out for Cody's going away party. I have to brag for just a bit- Cody is our hometown hero. He served in the Navy for four years, most of that in Japan. He then enlisted in the US Army and is deploying to Afghanistan in a few days. Thank you Cody for your service to our country! We all love you so so much! Stay safe and come home soon!Anyway. Back to the party- that's what Cody would want me to talk about anyway. We had a ball! There was dancing, there was alcohol, there was our "crew" (I hate that word- I need a new one), there was Cody... we had an amazing time out with ALL of our friends! There was a TEENY blip when the fight broke out between the two girls on the porch........ but overall we had a blast! :) It's times like this when I remember why I love Tyler's friends so much.

Girls of our crew with Cody

I also need to vent for just a second. JUST BECAUSE I am friends with your ex-boyfriend's now-girlfriend, DOES NOT MEAN I don't like you! JUST BECAUSE I am friends with your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, DOES NOT MEAN we can't be friends, too! Why can't we all just get along?!?

That's it. I'm done. And I'm still nursing a hangover. We'll talk later!

-L

Meet the Author :)